Guns are probably the scariest weapon and can create quite a panic if spotted anywhere. Given the rise in violence over the past decade, many people aren’t comfortable with the idea of being around guns.
However, when it comes to gun jokes, people just can’t get enough of them, and they can trigger laughter in you without even trying too hard. So, let’s dive into the hilarious and some dark gun jokes so you can reconnect with your long-lost laugh.
Arms Dealer in Texas
Person 1: “Where’d you get that gun?”
Person 2: “This? I got it from T-Rex.”
Person 1: “T-Rex?”
Person 2: “Yeah he’s a small arms dealer nearby.”
T-Rex is a short form of tyrannosaurus, and it was easily one of the deadliest animals on earth, which is now extinct. In the joke, the first person asks the second where they got their gun from, to which the second person responds, “This? I got it from T-Rex,” but since T-Rexes are extinct, the first individual doesn’t get who T-Rex is.
So, the second one clears their confusion, which is also the punchline of the joke, by telling him that he’s a small arms dealer in the area. Since T-Rexes used to have small arms, this joke creates a connection between the drug dealer’s small weapons business and the T-Rex.
My wife asked me why I carried a gun around the house…
I said “Transformers.”
The toaster laughed…
At some point in your life, you must have doubted that the stuff in your house might be a transformer and could reveal itself or, worse, attack you any time in your own house. So in this joke, when the wife asks her husband why he carries a gun around the house, he says, “transformers.”
His wife laughs at his reply, but it isn’t just the wife who laughs; even the toaster in the room laughs, which confirms his suspicions that the transformers are real, and if the husband thinks he can scare a transformer with a gun, then he’s got it all wrong. If you are a fan of the Transformer movie series, then this transformer joke infused with a gun joke is what you need.
Boss: “You’re fired.”
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: “You’re a waiter, where did you get those?”
Cops are usually shown turning in their badges and guns in movies and TV after suspension or dismissal. In this joke, when the waiter’s boss fires them, the person turns in their gun and badge, which is very confusing as waiters don’t get a badge or a gun when they are hired.
That is why the boss reminds the waiter that they don’t get those upon hiring and asks where they were acquired. It is quite a humorous spin on the situation as a lot of people may carry weapons without any reason. In this case, the boss doesn’t remember distributing guns and badges at the time of hiring him but the waiter sabotages his position. But since they had already lost their job, what more could go wrong!
“A gun company has been criticized after bringing out a pistol covered in Lego. The manufacturer says it’s perfectly safe unless you step on it in bare feet.”
Lego is all fun and games until you step in it with your bare feet as it is a form of torture that doesn’t just hurt your foot, but your whole body aches with pain. When a company introduces Lego-covered guns, it is obvious why many people would criticize the design as it could have a negative impact on children as well.
But the gun company doesn’t get the correct idea of why people criticized it and assumed it was because of the excruciating pain it inflicts on its victims, so they explained that this gun is completely safe unless you step on it and ignored what the people were really concerned about.
“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.”
This mixture of a pun and joke is the only thing you need to lift your mood from sad to happy and qualifies as one of the best jokes based on guns to ever exist. In the joke, this person says that they shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye, and by dye, they mean watching him get covered in different colors of the paintball.
Since “dye” sounds like “die” and the person has been shot with a gun (paintball gun is still a gun), it makes it sound like they are watching them die when they are actually watching them get dyed; this is what makes this joke the best of the gun jokes.
My doctor said, “You have one year to live.”
I said “you wanna bet?”
Bam a gunshot!
Bets can make you do even the most terrifying things to win, even if the prize is really small, and this is what makes betting so addictive. When the doctors inform this person that he just has one more year to live, the person asks him to bet whether he’ll live more or die in the said year.
So, to win the bet, the doctor makes a desperate move and shoots him then and there; this doctor certainly hasn’t won many bets, and that is why he didn’t want to waste this golden opportunity.
Having a couple of brilliant jokes in your mind at all times is a good idea as these jokes can come in handy when your friends aren’t feeling good or when the party you thought was going to be fun turns out to be the opposite.
These gun jokes are more than enough to cheer you or your friends up and give some life to a dull party. That’s why we have saved you from the trouble of finding the good gun jokes by putting them in one article.