Drunk Jokes That Sound Funny With or Without Alcohol

drunk-jokes

Drinking alcohol has become a part of our everyday lives. From having beer with friends at a bar on Saturdays to having wine at home with dinner, alcohol is everywhere in our lives. But there are also very hilarious incidents in everyone’s lives that are directly caused by the consumption of alcohol.

Drunk Jokes to Tell at Parties

There are different ways to have fun at parties. But telling drunk jokes is a great way to make your friends laugh and have fun at the same time. Since drunk people are always engaging in silly activities, there’s no shortage of jokes about them. You can tell drunk jokes at every party for a year and still not run out of them.

What’s amazing is that you don’t even need to have alcohol to enjoy these jokes. As long as you have been drunk in the past, you will be able to relate to these jokes. Jokes are automatically funnier when they are relatable.

There are a lot of good drunk jokes that you can tell at a party or dinner!

Are You Drunk?

The most common setup for drunk jokes is the one where a cop asks a person if they have had a few drinks. Since everyone has been stopped by cops from time to time, it is the kind of joke that we can all understand easily. But if someone drunk gets stopped by a cop, they would try their best to prove that they are sober.

However, they can just as easily end up giving themselves away:

Officer sees a man who is having trouble walking so he asks him, “sir, are you drunk?”

The man responds, “No, sir, I’m not drunk.”

So, the Officer asks, “How high are you?”

And the man responds, “No sir, it’s high, how are you?”

Pickup Line Gone Wrong

Every man has used at least one pickup line at a bar. Most men start the conversation by asking a woman “do you come here often?” It might or might not work out for them. But sometimes, a pickup line might go wrong.

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful young woman and says, “So, do I come here often?”

Although this joke will make everyone laugh, it will be funnier if you are drunk.

The Cost of a Beer

If you go to a bar for the first time, the first thing you would ask is the price of beer. You may wish to get the beer for free, but that’s something that only a few visitors can get.

A neutron walks into a bar. “How much for a beer?” the neutron asks. “For you?” asks the bartender. “No charge.”

Hopefully you don’t need an explanation of this joke. If you know the basics of science, you will understand this joke immediately.

Hold Your Liquor

There are people who get drunk pretty quickly. Just one drink and they get drunk. But there are people who can keep drinking the whole night easily. Then there’s a third kind that gets sick and starts throwing up after a couple of drinks. If a bartender knows that a person can’t hold their liquor, they won’t serve them.

“A snake crawls into a bar and orders a whiskey, but the bartender won’t serve him because he can’t hold his liquor.”

Now, you must be feeling sorry for the snake because he won’t be getting served at a bar. But the snake can get over this problem by setting up a minibar at home.

Monkeys Can Get Drunk Too

There’s no reason for only humans to have all the fun. Animals would also like to get drunk. They can also have problems that they would want to forget. But humans can go to a bar to get drinks. Where can animals go to get drinks?

“Where do monkeys get drunk?”

“Monkey bars.”

At least now we know where monkeys go to get drunk. Maybe monkeys also share drinks with other animals.

Dangers of Drinking

Everyone knows that drinking can be pretty dangerous. But people who love drinking never want to give up. Even when told about the dangers of drinking, they would continue to consume alcohol. Like the person in this joke:

“I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That’s it. No more reading!”

Unfortunately, you can’t change reality simply by ignoring it. If you don’t read about the dangers of drinking, that won’t eliminate the dangers.

They Know the Truth

Experts can write thousands of words on the dangers of drinking. But most people continue to ignore them. It is true that drinking has become a norm in many countries. It is also something that is unavoidable in many situations. However, if drinking becomes an addiction, it can create a lot of problems for you.

When someone truly knows the dangers of drinking, they wouldn’t want to continue with it:

“An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar…

Just kidding, they know better.”

In today’s world, everyone can access information on any topic whenever they want. Although doctors, scientists, and so on, know everything about the dangers of drinking, common people can also stay informed with the help of the Internet. It is about time people paid attention to such things and stopped destroying their health with alcohol.

Drinking can be fun, but only if it is done moderately. There are a lot of hilarious jokes about drunk people. When people have alcohol in their system, they lose control over their actions, as a result, they end up engaging in hilarious activities. You can share these jokes with friends to make them laugh and to remind them of the drunk times.

But it is important to remember that excessive use of alcohol can damage your health. If you are drinking in moderation then that’s alright. But if your drinking becomes a problem, you should consult a healthcare professional.