Humorous Orphan Jokes to Crack on a Gloomy Day

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Finding excellent and witty jokes is getting more complex day by day. Even though the Internet is saturated with hilarious jokes on various topics, you might sometimes run out of good ones or keep coming across repetitions.

So, if you are looking for something new, orphan jokes might be the best category for you. While the subject is quite dark, people do tend to find humor in it too. However, it is essential that you crack these at the right time and place.

Let’s take a look at some which might get a few laughs or shocked gasps!

An Orphan at a Court Hearing

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.

The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”

What was going through the murderer’s mind when he decided that this was the best reason for the judge to show him mercy? This is one of those orphan jokes that will surely bring out a few smiles. It is quite witty and you may be able to get away with it in a gathering of close friends and family.

The humor comes from how the boy makes himself an orphan by killing both the parents and then expects the judge to let him go because he has lost them. Being an orphan could be a good reason to appeal for mercy, but it really wouldn’t work when the person is responsible for killing their parents.

Raggedy Orphan Boy and His Innocent Question

A girl saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, “What gave me away?”

She said, “Your parents.”

Clearly, the poor orphan boy did not see that coming! The girl must have been oblivious to the fact that “what gave me away” is an idiom, and the boy did not mean it literally. In this case, the girl may have taken the question at face value and told the boy about his bitter reality by judging him on the basis of his looks.

This joke also stresses the importance of hearing before speaking. The girl had little idea that the boy was asking what made her reach that conclusion by just looking at him. This orphan joke is one of the most common ones, and it never fails to make the audience laugh out loud.

A Successful Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him “go big or go home,” he only had one option.

The orphan had no other option than to go big, as going home would require an actual house. Orphans, who are not adopted, may not have the advantages that come with a family and loving parents. This joke makes light of that situation and can be considered quite dark as well.

So before you crack it before a crowd, make sure that there are people who have a similar sense of humor and will not get offended. The joke implies that an orphan who is successful became that way because they had no choice. It is their ultimate secret to success as going back was not a possibility.

Orphan as a Birthday Gift

My wife opened one of her birthday presents early, saying that it was “practically screaming out at her.”

That’s the last time I buy her an orphan.

This joke is both funny and terrible at the same time. Firstly, the idea of a baby in a box can make anyone cringe or back away in horror (a crying present is going to scare everyone, so the wife’s reaction is justified). Second of all, getting your wife a baby for her birthday is not a wise decision.

The wife wouldn’t have expected a small human to come out of the box. This situation is quite absurd and that’s where the humor lies. You may not have to think a lot before putting out this joke and it’s bound to get more than a few people laughing.

The Orphan Ex

My ex was orphaned as a child. I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Now this sounds like one of those jokes that someone came up with while justifying their broken relationship. It is something that a bitter partner would think about after being dumped. The joke takes into account how the ex was an orphan, which should have been a warning sign.

While it can certainly make a few people uncomfortable, you may end up getting some smiles from friends or family members. You should carefully consider your audience before telling this joke as it might be taken in the wrong context.

Unexpected Answer to a Teacher’s Question

“What is a cannibal, Johnny?” asked the teacher.

“I don’t know, sir,” replied Johnny.

“Well, what would you be if you ate your mother and father?”

“An orphan, sir.”

When the teacher asks Johnny what a cannibal is, he says he doesn’t know, so the teacher puts in a little effort and gives him such an example. However, it backfires and Johnny comes up with quite a logical answer to losing his parents. Cannibalism is usually not the first thing that people would think about in such a situation.

This is probably the best joke on this list and can surely bring out some laughs. This interaction between teacher and students leaves the teacher speechless. Children really do think a lot differently than adults. The example must have made sense if the teacher had used Johnny’s friends in it instead of his parents.

Orphan’s Website

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

This short and hilarious joke can help lighten up the mood whenever you feel gloomy. Most orphan jokes have always been about them not having a home, but this one stands out. Some orphans are likely to grow up and live in orphanages instead of their own homes. So, if an orphan develops a website, there’s a high probability that it’s not going to have a home page.

This joke also comes with a witty pun and could get your friends smiling at the dinner table. A website without a home page isn’t considered an efficient one. If you are sitting with a few friends who are web developers or designers, this joke might be an instant hit!

Orphan Student’s Bad Test

An orphan boy at John’s school did really badly in a test and started crying.

John said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Most children or youngsters worry about the reactions of their parents when they score poorly in a test. The joke makes light of that situation and is a humorous play on it. Orphans don’t have to worry about such things as they do not have parents who would yell at them for scoring low marks in a test.

When John sees an orphan student crying over a bad test, he comforts him by making him realize that his parents won’t say anything since he doesn’t have any. While John might have added a little salt to that boy’s wounds, his intentions may have been good.

Hide and Seek with an Orphan

Why Don’t Orphans Play Hide and Seek? Because No One Will Look for Them.

This is one of those dark orphan jokes that can make people cringe as well. Its humor comes from the loss of innocence in a person’s life when they lose their parents. The child who becomes an orphan will most likely be unable to enjoy the simple joys in life, which include a game of hide and seek.

Sometimes, parents usually indulge in such activities with their kids and pretend to go looking for them. The joke takes this into account and plays on the fact that orphans will have no one searching for them. You do have to think twice about pulling this one out and if you do, avoid it in a large gathering or before colleagues.

Laughing is the best therapy you can get for yourself, and it doesn’t even cost much. All you have to do is find some witty jokes to crack among friends or family. Jokes are just another way of making memories, so make sure you crack jokes that won’t make you cringe when you look back at them some years later.

Hopefully, the jokes given above might add a bit of laughter to your day. These are some of the best orphan jokes you may be able to use to lighten up the mood. When you are exhausted after a tough day at work, you can also go over them to relax and enjoy some peace of mind.


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