Seven Best Hooker Jokes That Are Hilarious

hooker-jokes

Jokes are meant to crack others up if only you’re sharing it with people who have got the same sense of humor as you and they don’t take the jokes seriously. Laughter is like a free therapy that can cheer up anyone’s mood if they are sad or upset about something.

However, some jokes can specifically target a group of people that can be very offensive and may hurt their sentiments. Therefore, you need to be extra careful when you share such jokes.

If you’re someone who is searching for outrageous hooker jokes to share with your close friends, you can share some hilarious ones. Remember to use these jokes with caution!

“What do you call a hooker who likes noodles? A Pasta-tute”

This is easily one of the most harmless hooker jokes that you can use without worrying about hurting anyone. It has quite a witty word play that is bound to get anyone smiling. You may even see a few eye rolls after sharing this joke over dinner or at a gathering with friends.

Pasta is a famous Italian dish that everybody enjoys. By associating it with “prostitute,” the joke has made use of a pun too. The term Pasta-tute in the punch line is quite hilarious!

“Hookers are like drive-thrus, you tell them what you want, pay for your order and leave.”

Another hideous joke that will leave others laughing. When you’re in a hurry and you wish to take away your food, a drive-thru is your best friend. All you’ve to do is simply order what you want, make the payment, and then leave.

Likewise, when someone books a prostitute, you describe what you actually want, pay for the services you get, and you’re done.

“Why don’t hookers do Black Friday specials? Because they usually have things half off”

If you’re into witty hooker jokes, this is one clever joke you can share with others. Every year, people anticipate for Black Friday sales that come around the time of Thanksgiving. All the goods are at throwaway half prices.

It’s like asking hookers to do Black Friday specials but they already have half of the things off. The joke can be offensive as well so consider your audience carefully before sharing it anywhere. It targets the clothing or attire of prostitutes, which can be provocative at times. It’s how they present themselves in their line of customers and use it to attract clients.

”What do hookers and tattoo artists have in common? The minimum is $60, unless you’re willing to risk catching a disease”

This is another crude joke that is quite witty and slightly over the top as well. It makes a play on the minimum cost for getting a good tattoo or paying a hooker who might be quite high. However, if you want reliable and efficient services, then you must pay well. Those who try to save money on such things should be prepared for any kind of risk.

The joke lies in the fact that you might be vulnerable to catching a disease or infection if you compromise on the minimum price. Both tattoo artists and hookers have this factor in common. It’s quite a humorous spin on the pay scale in such professions and you might get more than a few laughs at the end!

“How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb… Not Three. My damn basement is still dark.”

This quite a dark hooker joke, which might make people cringe really hard too. You need to be quite cautious about sharing this joke. It makes light of a very dangerous situation and derives humor from hookers being dead.

You really can’t ask a dead hooker to change the light bulb in the basement and the person may have killed three of them. While you could get away with this joke among people who have a similar sense of humor, it’s best to avoid this in public. There is a high chance that you could attract judgmental stares from the audience.

“What do magicians and hookers have in common? Disappearing acts.”

Magicians are known for showing disappearing acts that give the audience the illusion that they have made the objects disappear out of nowhere.

Likewise, nobody would be surprised if a hooker disappeared quickly. Most of them are known to leave immediately and are rarely present when the other person wakes up. The joke draws a comparison between magicians and prostitutes as both pull off disappearing acts.

This is a humorous joke that you can safely use without triggering the people around you. In fact, it could get a few smiles and eye rolls from coworkers or friends at a party.

“A hooker gets arrested one night and the next day stands before the judge. The judge reviews the evidence and decides to sentence the hooker to community service for six months. Then the hooker goes ‘Community service? What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time?’”

This is one of the hilariously bad hooker jokes that you can’t help but laugh at. Community service is unpaid work that is done for the welfare of people.

It’s different from volunteering since it’s made compulsory for those who are held accountable for their crimes.

This joke depicts the hooker’s sarcastic humor when the judge decides to sentence to community service. To the hooker, the job is similar to a community service because sarcastically speaking, it’s benefiting the society.

With good humor, you can entertain anyone and lighten the mood in a short span of time. However, it is important to keep in mind that things can get dark as well. While some people may enjoy such jokes, others could find them offensive or hurtful. So at the end, you can share jokes about subjects that might be sensitive in nature such as about hookers or prostitution, but make sure you don’t end up triggering anyone.