The Funniest of Helen Keller Jokes


Who hasn’t heard of Helen Keller? Despite being both deaf and blind, the woman made quite the lemonade from the lemons life served her. Forever etching her name in American history, Keller became the first deaf and blind individual to attain a Bachelor’s degree. Aiding her in this journey was Anne Sullivan, the teacher who taught her how to read Braille and communicate.

Unknown to them in the beginning, theirs was to be a partnership that would bring both ladies much acclaim. With Sullivan’s help, Keller went on to become a successful author, lecturer and even ventured into political activism. The tutor, for her part, was successful by association. Her dedication to Keller was lauded far and wide, and isn’t it said that a student is only as good as their teacher?

What makes Keller’s story more intriguing is that she was just a typical kid born in 1880 Alabama. If you didn’t already know, she wasn’t born deaf and blind in the first place. Tragedy struck when she was over a year old after she contracted an illness so strange that science has yet to understand it.

The Genesis of Helen Keller Jokes

Despite her irrefutable successes, Helen Keller only became truly famous when her autobiography, The Story of My Lifewas adapted into the 1962 film, The Miracle Worker. 

As everyone knows, being thrust into fame has its upsides, but it also comes with undeniable downsides. For Keller and other persons living with deafness and blindness, the most obvious downside remains the deaf-blind jokes people seem all too pleased to crack.

Depending on how dark one’s humor is, these timeless gags may have people rolling on the floor or feeling grossly offended. Thanks to social media platforms, having a laugh at Helen Keller’s expense is a thing that seems to have a life of its own. Are there individuals whose mission in life is to come up with entirely new jokes while fanning flames on previously existing ones? Probably.

Admittedly, they seem to have taken off with the same magnitude as Viking jokes did a while back, and may even end up taking the crown from crab jokes as the funniest gags on the internet. Their mushrooming rate is incredible, considering that the contemporary world does not appreciate making fun of persons living with a disability. Seemingly, however, Helen Keller jokes have been treated as an exception. 

The Most Famous Helen Keller Jokes 

As already hinted at, most jokes involving this famous author are dark. With the rise of the meme culture, social media platforms are awash with Helen Keller memes depicting some of the funniest jokes available on the internet. Naturally, memes depict the most famous, timeless, and disturbingly hilarious of Helen Keller jokes, some of which include: 

  • Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.
  • I may be blind, but I can see why children like the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
  • How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her as a child? They moved the furniture around and did not announce it.
  • How do you make sure Helen Keller will keep a secret? You break her fingers.
  • How did Helen Keller meet her husband? A blind date.
  • How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
  • Why does Helen Keller use one hand to play the piano? So that she can sing with her other hand.
  • How did Helen Keller drive a car? Easy. She used one hand to steer the wheel and the other to see the road.
  • What was Helen Keller’s favorite color? Black. Duh!

Helen Keller Deaf Jokes 

Anyone who’s been on social media knows that people joke about anything and everything. Reddit users stand tall among other online communities where poking fun at anything is concerned. As sure as day, a Reddit community on Helen Keller jokes exists. In the spirit of finding humor in everything, people have had a laugh thanks to the author’s deafness. Some of the funniest gags in this regard include:

  • If Helen Keller fell down, would she make a sound?
  • Did you ever hear the funniest Helen Keller joke? Neither did she.
  • Helen Keller fell, then screamed continuously that her hands turned blue (she screamed her hands off).
  • What do you call blowing Helen Keller’s ear? Data transfer.
  • Why couldn’t anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
  • Why does Helen Keller’s husband constantly yell at her? Because she never listens.

Helen Keller Blind Jokes 

Seeing as the new normal is constantly being on the internet, we’ve all come across blind jokes from time to time. Interestingly, Helen Keller ones may just be the best of the bunch. Some that will leave you laughing your lungs out include:

  • What transpired when Helen Keller tried to rob a bank? She blew up the guards and tied up the safe.
  • Where did Helen Keller work all day? The Braille road.
  • How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her when she was naughty? They made her read the cheese grater.
  • Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
  • How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They gave her a basketball and told her to read that book.
  • Why did Helen Keller dislike porcupines? They were too painful to look at.

All-round Helen Keller Jokes 

While there’s no disagreeing that most jokes involving Keller poke fun at her disabilities, there are also those that fall into a general category. Understandably, not most of them exist. The few that do, however, are just as hilarious as those directed towards her deafness or blindness. A few examples of such jokes include: 

  • Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away? You would, too, if you were named hgjrosnfl.
  • Helen Keller was such a great woman with an inspirational story. She was able to write and read despite being from Alabama.
  • Why can’t Helen Keller have kids? Because she’s dead.

Sexual Jokes 

Does anything on the internet surprise anyone anymore? With the autonomy and anonymity being online offers, sexual jokes are almost everywhere. Unfortunately for Keller, not even her legacy as an iron lady can save her from being the butt of these jokes. Some of the few cracked at her expense include: 

  • Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So that she could use the other one to moan.
  • Why did Helen Keller wear very tight pants? So that you would be able to read her lips.
  • Why was Helen Keller’s belly button injured? Because her boyfriend was also blind.
  • Helen Keller was taught the word ‘water’ similarly to how she was taught the word ‘cock’ – by running a hand under a tap and tracing the word on her palm. (Yes, she stroked a rooster to learn the word cock, in case you were wondering.)

Summing Up 

In as much as the contemporary society shuns laughing at the expense of people living with one or more disabilities, it seems that the modern world can’t have enough of Helen Keller jokes. The trick to finding them funny is to not overthink them.

No matter how much people make fun of the famous author and activist, her legacy will always speak volumes. Some would even argue that the lady lives on in these gags.