As people move on from using phones to using other forms of chat, many people are beginning to lose their touch when it comes to answering the phone.
Not all phone conversations have to start with “hi” or “hello.” In fact, there are quite a number of different ways that you can respond to a phone call to elicit a reaction from the other side. From telling corny jokes that you know your friend will appreciate to messing around with people who have gotten the wrong number, there are plenty of ways that you can enjoy yourself the next time you pick up the phone.
There are some jokes that are safe to tell to anyone who answers the phone, even people who you may not know very well. Other jokes should be reserved for people that you know well, as telling certain jokes to someone who you don’t know well can give the wrong impression of who you are.
There are also plenty of ways that you can answer people who have the wrong number, adding a bit of amusement to both of your days. And finally, there are some ways that you can waste the time of telemarketers who are only calling to waste your time. With the number of ways that you can answer the phone, you will surely find a few that give you a smile when you try them.
1. Consider Some Plain Jokes
It can generally go without saying that just about everyone out there loves a good joke. When thinking about funny ways to answer the phone, you will definitely want to give some thought to the jokes that you can tell to the caller.
More often than not, you will want to rely on jokes that are openers to a conversation, rather than knock-knock jokes. One of the classic jokes that you can tell to someone calling you is “Steve’s Mortuary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.” These phone jokes are about as old as phones themselves.
Of course, you can always replace the name of the “place” with your own name, especially if the caller knows who you are. More often than not, these jokes will get a good chuckle out of whoever is calling you, even if they have heard the joke before. There are also many, many other jokes that are in this vein of humor.
You can also consider opening the conversation with a statement other than the traditional “Hello!” to shake things up a little bit. You could start off with a more unconventional question, such as asking the caller where your money is, insinuating that the caller took your money.
Keep in mind that the more accusatory jokes are best kept between friends, or else you may not give the best impression to the person who is on the other line. You could also consider responding by announcing “room service!” as well. These types of harmless jokes are sure to make anyone smile, even just a little bit.
2. Consider Some Jokes for Close Friends
If you are thinking of ways that you can talk to people who you know well or people who you know will not be put off by vulgar jokes, there are many more options for you to choose from. Keep in mind that these jokes may not be the best for the situation at hand, and if it doesn’t sound like the person on the other end is in a good mood for jokes, it may be best to drop it.
For example, if someone calling you is a good lady friend of yours, you could consider responding by exclaiming surprise that the person on the other end is a lady. A good friend will often laugh at these jokes. Depending on everyone’s sense of humor, you could even consider answering with “oh no, the voices are back again,” as this is a more creative way of greeting your friend than any intonation of “hello” could offer. You may even consider answering the phone with a massive burp if you know that this will make your friends laugh.
3. Have Some Fun with the Wrong Number
There is always going to be the chance that someone calls you with the wrong number. While you could certainly just say “wrong number” and hang up, it would probably be much more enjoyable for everyone to have a little bit of fun with the caller.
Not only can it make a little bit of the embarrassment go away, but there’s even the chance that you could bring a smile to a stranger’s face. One risk-free option to consider would be saying that the caller is “on air”, as if he or she had called into a radio station. This is a fun way to mess with someone who got the wrong number, and there’s very little chance that it would make the person feel worse or offended.
Some people enjoy acting as if they know the person on the other end, even if the caller got the wrong number. For instance, you could make a remark about how a job is done, asking what you should do next. Often, after a couple seconds of confusion, the person on the other end will realize their mistake, smile or laugh a little bit at your response and then hang up. This is another risk-free way of having some fun with people who have called the wrong number. Of course, if it sounds like an urgent situation, you should probably stow away the jokes for the next wrong caller.
4. Play Around with Telemarketers
And finally, there is everyone’s least favorite type of call. Nobody really enjoys getting telemarketing calls. If you are the type of person who answers most calls, it might be worth it to consider playing around with the people who call you to sell you their products.
After all, if they are planning to waste your time, you might as well waste some of theirs too. There are countless different ways that you can respond to telemarketers in a way that not only shows that you’re not interested, but also shows that you have a good sense of humor.
For example, if you have a young child in your family, especially one who enjoys making noise when you are on the phone, you can consider letting the child talk to the telemarketer. While making sure the child doesn’t say anything that you don’t want them to say, this can provide a good laugh for everyone involved.
You could also flip the game around, pretending that you are selling a product to the telemarketer and then trying the same game as them. There’s a good chance that they will hang up quickly after this. You could also consider erupting into a song, especially a song that is notoriously bad. Not only will this be fun for you, but there’s a good chance that it will make the person on the other end of the line smile just a little bit.
If you know another language, you could also consider responding in that language instead of the language that the caller speaks. These are just a few of the many, many ways that you can mess with telemarketers who choose to call you.
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