Love is complicated. There is a reason why thousands and hundreds of thousands of couples find themselves divorced after only a few years.
It can be hard to understand how to communicate properly with a loved one and it can be hard to understand what exactly they like about you. In turn, this can make it immensely difficult for you to express the affection that they seek. While there is no simple book that explains how love works beyond the chemicals involved, there are many different ways that you can help yourself understand what you can do to improve your relationship with a loved one.
One of the fundamental aspects of understanding love is through the five love languages. These languages, illustrated by the book with the same name, are five of the main ways that people express love for their loved ones. When you come to understand these love languages, you will find that you will be able to understand why your loved one truly loves you and you will also know what part of your relationship to put emphasis on. For instance, if you know that your partner expresses love through words of affirmation, then you can begin talking to your partner more.
Understanding this core concept will also help you and your partner answer the question that everyone has, wondering why do you love me, making it easier for the two of you to find each other and help each other out. When you know what your partner is looking for in love, then you will be able to begin providing it, and this is the first step in any serious, long-term relationship.
Expressing Love Through Words of Affirmation
The idea behind words of affirmation is that people who “speak” in this love language prefer to hear praise and appreciation over other love languages, such as giving gifts or spending quality time with each other. If you follow words of affirmation, then there’s a good chance that simple praise, excitement, and appreciation for the smaller tasks in life are what make you feel loved and cared for.
If your partner uses this love language, then he or she may become especially happy and pleased when you compliment them, praise them, congratulate them, and generally try to be encouraging in emotional support.
If you are not sure how you should go about doing this for your partner, there are a few things to consider. For one, you should always be genuine about being happy for him or her. Sounding forced or unenthusiastic may come across as if you believe it’s a chore to communicate this way, which will have the opposite effect.
If your partner is happy about doing something or is proud about an accomplishment, you should give congratulations, praise, and compliment the work that he or she may have done. Even the small compliments can go a long way for people who use this love language. If this is what your partner loves about you, then it will be well worth it to follow through with it.
Expressing Love Through Acts of Service
Acts of service can be thought of as taking part of the responsibilities around the house and elsewhere. This can include doing the dishes when you notice the sink is full, vacuuming the floor every week, going grocery shopping, and so on.
To people who speak in this love language, taking responsibility around the house shows your partner that you care about him or her and that you want to take on part of the work for them. If you notice that your partner places importance on responsibilities and keeping everything done properly, then you may want to think about expressing your love through this love language.
The best way that you can express yourself this way is to simply do some of the housework when it begins to look like it needs it. You shouldn’t try to draw too much attention to it or act like it is a chore for you to do. Instead, just calmly get the chore done.
If it is something along the lines of going grocery shopping for your partner, you can talk with him or her about it so that you two are on the right page. Even simply taking the dog for a walk or offering to cook breakfast can be enough to make your partner smile when he or she loves through acts of service.
Expressing Love Through Receiving Gifts
The idea behind this love language is fairly straightforward. People who love through receiving gifts find true happiness in finding that a partner has left a small, thoughtful gift for them. These are the kind of people who, after receiving said gift, smile throughout the day thinking about it. These gifts don’t have to be extremely materialistic and they don’t have to be extravagant either. For some people, a handwritten card is more than enough to make a partner’s week.
If you realize that your partner expresses love through receiving gifts, then you will want to make an effort to offer your partner small gifts every now and then. If you notice that your partner is stressed, you can consider offering a gift. If you notice that your partner has been wanting a particular kind of snack, you could consider purchasing it for him or her. If you are wondering why your partner loves you and you are the type of person who gives gifts, then there’s a good chance your partner loves through the language of receiving gifts.
Expressing Love Through Quality Time
Expressing love through quality time is one of the most common love languages there is. People who love each other often enjoy each other’s company, and to people who speak through the language of quality time, this time spent is even more important to them. If you notice that your partner wants to spend more time in the same room as you, doing the same activities as you, and simply wants to spend time with you and interacting with you, there’s a very good chance that he or she expresses love through quality time spent together.
If you want to help express your love to a partner that uses this love language, then you will simply want to make more time in your schedule to just sit down and spend that quality time with your partner. Whether that means setting aside certain hours of the day to dedicate to your partner or this means that you will want to plan a comfortable evening out every so often is up to you and your partner, but these are often the types of things that people who speak through this love language appreciate.
Expressing Love Through Physical Touch
Finally, there is the love language of physical touch. As you might be able to imagine, this is the love language that involves direct physical contact the most. This can be a hand on the arm, frequent hugging, or just sitting side by side. If your partner expresses his or her love for you through physical touch, you will notice that holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and intimacy are some of the most important times together and what your partner looks forward to the most.
If you want to express your love for your partner this way, you can consider making an effort to consensually touch your partner more often. While you are out in public, you can hold hands with your partner. Sitting side by side at home can also be a kind and subtle sign to your partner to help them understand why you love them. Cuddling, hugging, and sex are also wonderful ways to express love to a partner who speaks through the love language of physical touch.