Learning About Ourselves: How Do We Learn Who We Truly Are?

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Many psychologists claim that we grow more in our twenties than we do in any decade afterwards. In fact, when you’re in your twenties, you do get a good feel of the type of person you’re supposed to become.

You learn a lot about yourself and who you are inside, which helps you decide which direction your life should go. Regardless of your age, though, it is never too late to learn who you are and what you should be doing with your life, especially if you follow a few simple tips.

How Do We Learn Who We Truly Are?

If you want to get to know yourself better, it’s a lot easier than you think. Once you know who you really are, you’ll feel much better about yourself, your goals, and your direction in life.

After all, you are more than just a spouse, parent, worker, etc. If you’re not really sure what makes you “you,” here are a few tips that can help:

1.  Spend Time Alone in Thought

People are super busy these days, but it’s important to take time out for yourself regularly so you can slow down and think about what you really want to do.

Read some self-help books, ask yourself some tough questions, meditate, or do whatever you need to do to get the answers you’re looking for so that you can find out for yourself who you truly are.

2.  Keep a Journal

Even if you aren’t sure what you wish to write about, keep a journal and write in it every day. Even if you put your pen to the paper and aren’t sure what you’re going to write, you might be surprised by some of the things that start to come out of your brain.

You can even start a “How Do We Learn Who We Truly Are?” essay and go from there to find the answers you need.

3.  Determine What You Are and Aren’t Good at

Everybody’s good at something, but sometimes it takes a while to figure out what that is. Before you figure out who you are, you have to decide what you’re good at and what you’re not good at doing.

Keep in mind that you have to try out different things to figure this out, so this is also a good time to try something new if you like.

4.  Assess All of Your Relationships

Your relationships with others can directly affect what type of person you become, so take a hard look at all of them and make sure that they are healthy, productive ones.

You may have some relationships that are negative ones and you don’t realize it. To grow as a person, you have to surround yourself with supportive friends who can help you grow, which might mean getting rid of the ones who don’t.

5.  Always Forgive Yourself

When you’re reflecting on your life and deciding what type of person you want to be, you’ll likely realize that you’ve been a little hard on yourself at times.

Now is the time to forgive yourself so that you can move forward with your goals. It’s important to be patient with yourself and accept who you’ve been up to this point because this is the only way that you can grow in the future.

6.  Find What Your True Passion Is

Life is much better and much easier when you are devoting it to something you feel passionate about, regardless of what that is.

Ask yourself what you would do with your life if money was no object, and ask yourself if there is anything you’re interested in that gives you a lot of joy. If you take your time, it’ll quickly become obvious what your true passion is.

7.  Don’t Let the Past Slow You Down

If there’s anything in your past that you regret and it’s driving you crazy, find a way to let it go so it doesn’t ruin your future. These things tend to stay in your head for years and prevent you from accomplishing your goals.

Whatever it is, find a way to get over it so that you can concentrate only on yourself for a while in order to work on who you are.

8.  Don’t Concentrate on What You Want to Be

It’s good to have goals, but you can’t concentrate on who you want to be because it may not jive with who you really are as a person right now.

Remember, you are trying to figure out who you are deep down inside and who you are right now. If you do this, it becomes much easier to determine who you are so you can know what to do about it afterwards.

9.  Ask People for Feedback

This one might be tough for some people, but if you ask other people what they think your strengths and weaknesses are, most of them will give you truthful answers.

Of course, it’s best if you choose friends or family members who you know will not lie when giving you their answer. You might be surprised and maybe even a little hurt at some of the answers, but it’s a great starting point for this exercise.

10.  Always Be Honest with Yourself

When you’re trying to determine who you truly are, you have to be honest with yourself with every task. Reflect on what you’ve learned with the previous suggestions and make sure you are in a quiet spot when you’re trying to answer questions about yourself.

If you aren’t completely honest throughout this exercise, it really won’t do you much good and the results won’t be applicable.

11.  Think About How You React to Challenges

Everyone has hard times every now and then, but if you take a close look at how you reacted when it happened to you, it can help reveal what kind of person you are.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t change and become a different person, but it is a little easier when you decide how you tend to react when the unexpected happens to you. You might even surprise yourself with the answer.

12.  Look at What You Do When No One Is Around

If you look at what you do and think when no one is around you, it can tell you what type of person you are right now.

If you tend to do things that aren’t exactly on the up-and-up, you might want to reevaluate your life. Taking a look at what you do in your spare time when you’re all by yourself can tell you a lot about yourself, both negative and positive.


Learning who you truly are as a person is an important piece of your life because without knowing this, you can’t grow and learn to become the person you are meant to be. There are numerous ways to learn who you are, and most of them include spending time with yourself and asking yourself certain questions so you can learn a lot about yourself as you are now.

Once you learn who you are deep inside, you can plan the details of your life around that and enjoy your life a lot more from that point forward.


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