Can You Learn to Be Patient with Yourself?

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They say that patience is a virtue, but what if you’re not a patient person by nature and don’t even have patience with yourself?

If you’ve been an impatient person for a long time, it might be a little difficult to change that, but you should know that it is not impossible.

Just as with anything else in life, it takes following a few simple tips and making it a priority to change things. In other words, practicing more patience with yourself isn’t that difficult for most people.

Can You Learn to Be Patient with Yourself?

Patience is something that you may not have learned when you were growing up, which makes it very difficult to learn when you get older.

Simply put, patience is a learned behavior and a skill that is taught. No one is born patient, which might be a surprise to many people. Nevertheless, patience is something that everyone can learn if they know how.

How do you know if you’re impatient with yourself? Some of the clues that this may apply to you include constantly being disappointed in yourself, being very critical of yourself, having a strong fear of being judged by others or failing, and even feeling sorry for yourself.

Of course, these traits are experienced by most people occasionally, but it shouldn’t be an ongoing thing.

Some of the things that you can do when you wish to become more patient include the realization that it won’t happen overnight.

Learning to be more patient is a multi-step process that often includes occasional steps backwards, but you should eventually attain your goals as long as you don’t give up.

Sometimes we lose patience with ourselves because we are holding back from something. When you have no patience, you often tie your performance or productivity to your self-worth, which can make you feel frustrated on a regular basis.

To develop patience, you need to realize that if you relax or don’t get much done on a certain day, it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong.

Why Do I Have No Patience?

Quite often, if you’re impatient, it is due to an outside influence, including anxiety or stress. It might be a behavior or even a task that causes the lack of patience, but it’s due to something else.

If someone does something that makes you feel as though your goals are now going to be delayed, your natural reaction might be to show hostility towards that person.

Impatient people also tend to feel as though they must complete what they’re doing now as quickly as possible so they can move onto something else.

If it doesn’t happen that way, the lack of patience becomes obvious and is displayed once again. Lack of patience might also be due to worry or even fear, and it is very common for it to be most obvious in the workplace.

Simply put, there are numerous reasons why you might not have the patience you wish you had, but keep in mind that this is a learned behavior that is usually picked up during your childhood.

This means that impatience is probably very ingrained into your psyche and personality, even though it’s a lot easier than you think to turn things around and learn to be more patient.

How to Have Patience with Yourself?

So, do you realize you are impatient with yourself but you wish to change that? It’s a lot easier than you think, although it won’t happen overnight.

There are numerous ways that you can learn to have more patience with yourself and with others, including these tips:

  • Do some deep breathing. As soon as you feel some anger or other types of impatience, stop what you’re doing and take some deep breaths. Try to hold each breath for about four to five seconds, and make sure that you inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
  • Celebrate even your small wins. If you feel as though you displayed some patience in a situation where you might not have done so in the past, celebrate and congratulate yourself. Each step forward that you take is a big one, after all!
  • Eliminate negative thoughts and negative talks. If you’re used to being a negative person, you’ll naturally be more impatient than you should be, so banish all negative speech and thinking from your life.
  • Accept it when life brings you changes. If you’re impatient when things go as planned and your life is routine, you’ll be even more impatient when situations change. Your life can change in an instant, so acceptance of change is necessary to survive.
  • Make sure you’re grateful for everything in your life. Even the disappointments are handled much better when gratitude is a regular part of your life. Be thankful for everything!
  • Do things that can help clear your mind. This can include meditating, taking a walk, or even sitting in a quiet room for 10 minutes and listening to some soft music. Everyone needs an emotional break occasionally, but regular breaks are even better.
  • Get out of the habit of multitasking. You don’t owe anyone anything, and multitasking is stressful anyway. It’s best simply to concentrate on doing one thing at a time so you can do it much better. Less stress usually means more patience in the end.
  • Concentrate on being patient with others. If you can learn to be patient with others, you can learn to have more patience with yourself, too. If you’re having trouble being impatient with yourself, it’s a good idea to start being more patient with others first.


Lack of patience is usually learned during childhood, but having patience with both yourself and others is easier if you work on the problem and follow a few tips.

Patience is a learned behavior but also a skill that becomes much easier with a little practice. If you concentrate on being more grateful, taking more time for self-care, not multitasking, and celebrating both small and large wins, it is a lot easier to accomplish this.

Also keep in mind that you are going to have good days and bad days and that learning to be patient is a multi-step process.


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