Rare Pussy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Uncontrollably

pussy-jokes

There are days where you feel at your lowest or just very exhausted. Sometimes you might feel like an outcast if you have moved to a new place and may find it difficult to make new friends. To keep yourself away from the shackles of tedium, there’s only one effective activity, cracking jokes.

Sharing jokes can make you a lot of friends and also help polish your personality, but that only happens if you get your timing right. There are some incredibly funny pussy jokes that you can enjoy or crack with friends and family. They can also help in keeping boredom at bay!

Argument with Wife

“Got in a fight with my wife last night,” says one guy to his friend.

“Again,” said the friend, “How did it end this time?”

“Well, she ended up on her knees, practically begging.”

“Really, what did she say?”

“Get out from under the bed you pussy!”

In this joke, the guy tells his friend about how his wife got on her knees, and his friend gets all hyped-up thinking that she must be begging for forgiveness from the guy. However, later his friend’s expectations are crushed when the guy comes to the point and tells him the actual reason she was on her knees was to get him out from under the bed.

In short, the husband was a pussy, and his wife was finding him, due to which he hid under the bed. This joke explains why painting a proper picture of the situation matters and why you should always lead with the important part instead of building up suspense. This was undoubtedly one of the most hilarious and common jokes in the pussy jokes category.

Chuck Norris

“Chuck Norris is a pussy! If that sucker was as brave as people say, he would show up here right now and smash my head against my keybakwue hr<awjd <akreu<an<awlkuhnc<a kjdqw;eoim.”

This was clearly someone who underestimated the power of Chuck Norris’ talent and received the proof they wanted right then and there. The person didn’t even get to complete their sentence at the end. If there’s one thing this individual has learned from this experience is that the doors and windows should remain closed during online bashing as well.

This Chuck Norris joke on the “pussy” theme is the best of the best, so sending this joke in a text message to your friends who are Chuck Norris fans will be the highlight of their day.

Man and the Cockroach

Why did the man squish the cockroach?

Because he said to the man, “Go ahead, kill me, you pussy. You are just jealous that your wife is more afraid of me than you.”

Cockroaches are every woman’s worst nightmare, and that is why every woman fears cockroaches more than anything in her life. So, in this joke, when the husband squishes the cockroach, the last words of the cockroach stay with him forever as he mocks him by telling him that his wife is more scared of it (the cockroach) than she is of her husband.

There is a huge difference between a roach and a husband, so it makes sense why the wife feared the cockroach more than her husband.

Runny Nose

“My nose is a pussy. As soon as it sees any allergens, it runs!”

While some may be lucky enough to experience flu once in a year, there are some who have a runny nose all the time, which makes the noise of the latter ones a pussy as it runs after meeting the allergens. Pussy noses really need to pick up some courage and start fighting the allergen instead of running away from the fight.

In this joke, the part where it says that the nose runs after seeing allergen actually means that you get a “runny” nose when you come into contact with allergens, so this was quite an incredible punch line and is best to use on someone who’s suffering from flu and runny nose.

French People

“Ugh, French people are such pussies. I saved one, and he just kept begging for mercy.”

This is why people need to start taking French language classes as soon as possible and polish their French vocabulary skills as well. The French word for “thank you” is “merci” (read mercy), and the person who saved the French guy thought that he kept asking for mercy (which means “forgiveness” in the English Language). Instead, what the French person was actually doing was thanking their savior heartily for saving his life.

The jokes on French people are countless and can give you a good laugh if you haven’t had one in a while, so the lesson to be learned over here is that learning French is important if you interact with French people on a daily basis.

Where’s the Ghost?

“I visited a haunted house today, and my friends fled in terror.

I’ve been to this place for the past 271 years and haven’t seen a single ghost.

Absolute pussies.”

This is hands down one of the best pussy jokes to exist and stays rent-free in our minds; so, when you crack this joke, make sure you savor the moment as there will be a lot of people giggling and praising your sense of humor. This joke is about a ghost taunting its friends for pussies and fleeing from a haunted house they were visiting.

The punch line is revealed in the second sentence when the ghost reveals that he’s been living in the haunted house for 271 years but hasn’t seen a single ghost. Now, it makes sense why the friend fled.

Laughter can play a huge role in calming your nerves and relieving stress, so laughing every once in a while is important to stay sane and fit. These pussy jokes are one of the elite jokes and can make you burst with laughter whenever you feel low, so keeping these jokes up your sleeve might help in trumping boredom anytime and anywhere.