The Best Husband and Wife Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

husband-and-wife-jokes

Most relationships have their ups and downs, and marriages are no different. Husbands and wives are notorious for having disagreements over minor things on a regular basis. This has given jokesters the opportunity to target the relationship between them and crack hilarious jokes at their expense.  

While some of the humor can strike people as offensive, most of it is light and can certainly get your partner to smile. In case you are looking for jokes to make your boring day bearable or want to lighten the mood after an argument with your better half, you can actually find some really great ones. There are quite a few humorous husband and wife jokes that can instantly make things better!   

Wife: “Let’s go out and have fun tonight!” Husband: “Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.”

Having fun becomes a challenge when you are married due to a load of responsibilities. The couple in this joke decides to go out and have fun. But one would think that since they are husband and wife, they must be going out together, but when you move forward with the joke, you’ll realize that they are going their separate ways to have fun.

There is nothing wrong with husband and wife having fun separately as both of them might have a different opinion of what they like to do for fun, but this unexpected turn of events is where the readers burst out laughing, especially when they can relate to the situation.

“Marrying someone for their good looks is like buying a house for the paint color.”

Believe it or not, there are still some people who marry on the basis of what their spouse looks like instead of paying attention to what kind of a person they are. In the joke above, they have drawn an analogy between people marrying others for their looks and people buying a house just because they liked its color.

People who marry because of another person’s good looks often end up regretting their decision. There are more important things than just looks that evaluate if the person is worth marrying, such as their sense of humor and their personality.

In case someone gets married to their partner for their good looks, they may have to encounter a lot of problems down the road. It is quite important for both the people in a relationship to have compatibility and a good sense of humor.

“What’s the difference between a relationship and a video game? They both start off fun and easy, then get a little harder. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.”

If you are married and play a lot of video games as well, then this will be the best husband and wife joke of the day. It’s one of the basic rules of games that the beginner levels are easier as compared to the higher levels. So those who pass through without quitting may have everyone surprised.

Similarly, if you keep your relationship with your spouse intact until the very end, no matter how hard it gets, people will find it hard to believe. So be it video games or your relationship, make sure to leave people stunned with your exceptional performance in both sectors.

“I love you,” my wife said. “Is that you talking,” I asked, “Or the wine?” “It’s me talking to the wine.”

When a woman is sitting with a glass of wine in hand, and she says, “I love you,” then it’s pretty obvious that she’s referring to the wine. The lesson in this joke is never to ask your wife dumb questions like the one her husband asked in the above joke when she’s drinking her favorite and most expensive wine.

This joke was the one with a lesson and was straight up the most savage reply any woman could come up with when a man asks this question. So, if your wife ever says “I love you” in the presence of food or wine, then it’s better to keep your lips sealed.

Wife: “Do you want dinner?” Husband: “Sure, what are my choices? Wife: “Yes and no.”

You might be feeling sorry for the husband who was probably thinking that they will get to choose the menu for dinner. The excitement vanishing from their face must have been a painful view for the audience but asking your wife, “what are my choices” can be quite infuriating at times. So, if your wife asks, “do you want dinner” then your answer should be “yes” or “no.”

Cooking dinner after a long day of work is exhausting, so if someone thinks that they’ll choose what to have for dinner, then they are under a false impression. Jokes, where wives have hilarious comebacks and answers, are best to read when you are feeling low, as they can make you laugh until your belly hurts.

Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the “Terms of Use” on the Internet. Eventually, you just give up and say, “I Agree.”

In all truthfulness, most people do not bother to read the terms and conditions before clicking on “I agree” because they are quite lengthy, and no one has that much free time on their hands.

The arguing system between husband and wife is quite similar. One of them has to be the one who will say “I agree” to whatever the other person is saying, or else the argument can go on for a long time.  However, sometimes you should listen to the arguments and answer accordingly as the sentence “I agree” can lead to some serious consequences.

Despite the arguments or small fights, marriage can be good for a lot of people. It becomes even more beautiful when both partners are able to make each other laugh. Joking around with your better half contributes considerably to making your relationship with them stronger.

These husband and wife jokes can help crack up both you and your spouse when your days have been exceptionally boring.